10 years ago today I had a decent day job working in the accounting department of the local newspaper. I was working in a bowling alley as a bartender on the weekend. I had just found out a few days before that I was pregnant. I hadn’t even told the soon to be father yet. It was a Saturday night. Well, technically it was around 2 a.m. Sunday morning. I had just finished up at the bowling alley and was headed home.
I remember calling the baby’s father before I left for the bowling alley, telling him we needed to talk and arranging to see him the next day.
I remember grabbing a small plastic cup of water and grabbing my crackers I had brought with me and hid under the counter to manage my nausea before I left the bowling alley that night.
I remember pulling up to a stop light at an intersection.
I remember seeing an abandoned car sitting on the side of the cross road to my left.
I remember seeing a county sheriff’s deputy checking out the abandoned car.
I remember coming to and wondering where I was and what was happening.
I remember somebody holding my hand through the car window and telling me that everything was going to be ok.
I remember asking her to find my phone and calling my boyfriend, telling him I’d been in an accident and that I needed him and would he meet me at the hospital.
I remember calling my mom and before I could tell her what happened losing the strength to do so.
I remember the woman taking the phone from me and telling my mom what had happened and promising to stay with me until the ambulance arrived.
I remember the ambulance arriving and working on getting me out of the car.
I remember telling them over and over that I was pregnant and asking them if my baby was ok.
I remember them telling me everything would be fine and that I needed to calm down so they could get me out of the car and to a hospital.
I remember them finally pulling me from the car and putting me in the ambulance.
I remember the hospital trying to figure out how to make sure I was ok without risking harm to my baby.
I remember my mom arriving and holding my hand, telling me everything was going to be ok.
I remember my mom telling me the baby’s father had arrived and wanted to come back to see me.
I remember her telling me that I should probably tell him I was pregnant before he heard it from one of the doctors or nurses.
I remember being strapped to a hospital bed while I told my son’s father he was going to be a dad.
I remember getting x-rays and being told that the baby was probably fine and that he had more cushion than I did during the crash.
I remember the police officer who was checking out the abandoned car coming to the hospital to check on me.
I remember him apologizing for not stopping to make sure I was ok.
I remember him telling me that he was sure I was dead and he had to make sure he caught the guy and so he could pay for what he did.
I remember going home with my mom, barely able to move let alone walk.
I remember my mom helping me with a bath and making sure all the glass was off my body and out of my hair.
I remember calling my dad who was stationed in Japan at the time and telling him what happened.
I remember losing my job because I was too scared to drive and therefor didn’t have reliable transportation to and from work.
I remember the first time I drove again, the tears falling down my face as my sister assured me I could do it and was going to be ok.
I remember the long weeks, months and years following…trying to find a new normal.
I don’t remember the 19-year-old who was well above the legal alcohol limit hitting me from behind at an estimated 90 miles an hour and pushing me through a 4 lane intersection.
This time of year most people remember the happenings of September 11th. I also remember September 10th…and surviving.